This scene hit me hard. It was something I’ve felt for a
long time, through several years of hell, but never had the words for. My full story,
how Critical Role fit into that strife, and my thoughts on what Caduceus and this
scene mean to me are here. I encourage you to read them if you have the
emotional energy for something heavy, but they were too much for an
introduction. Suffice to say I transcribed this because it made me cry a lot in
a very healing way.
Scene runs: 0:12:14 to 0:17:53
0:12:14 Caleb:
“Okay, so I will go to where he is on the boat and…” He knocks twice.
0:12:20 Caduceus:
“Hey, Mr. Caleb, good evening.”
0:12:25 Caleb:
“You look, uh,”
0:12:27 Caduceus:
“Battered.”
0:12:27 Caleb:
“tired as I feel.”
Caduceus nods.
0:12:31 Caleb:
“Do you have a moment?”
0:12:33 Caduceus:
“Sure, sure. What can I do for you?”
0:12:37 Caleb: “May
I come in?”
0:12:39 Caduceus:
“Oh yes, of course.”
0:12:44 Caleb:
“Uh… I feel a little poorly for the time you have been having traveling
with us. It was not a very good day.”
Caduceus laughs.
0:12:59 Caleb: “It’s
been a string of bad ones, in fact.”
Caduceus nods.
0:13:03 Caleb:
“And I am grateful to have you along with this group because we get hurt a
lot, we stick our noses places maybe we shouldn’t, and you have been very
helpful. And I—”
0:13:20 Caduceus:
“Thank you. I think I’m coming to the realization that perhaps I was not
entirely clear of what I signed up for, but I don’t think that means that it’s
the wrong path? I’m, uh… I’m getting used to the idea that this is… it wouldn’t
be a test if it were easy.”
0:13:42 Caleb:
“So, is it your intention to continue on with us?”
0:13:47 Caduceus:
“I… I joined your group of friends—I guess our group of friends now—as a testament of faith, and it would be a…
a disservice to that faith to turn around because it’s hard. If it had been easy,
and I suppose I wouldn’t have needed to be called to it. I, um, I’ve been
thinking a lot about it. Jester gave me a lot to think about, to be
honest.”
0:14:22 Caleb:
“Well, you know, sometimes acts of good faith deserve to be rewarded, when
they can. I wanted to give you something that will make your time with us a
little bit easier, I suppose.”
0:14:39 Liam:
“And I start to pull the periapt out and untie it.”
0:14:44 Caleb,
hesitating, then changing direction, waving it around: “This… You know,
I’m always so far back away from, uh… […] I’m always very far back anyway; this
isn’t doing me much good, and it’s better that you stay up, more than I stay up
because if you go down, that’s it. So, this is just a little bit of extra, you
know, protection. Anyway…”
0:15:16 Caduceus:
“Do—Mr. Caleb, do you believe in fate?”
Caleb stares back
blinking silently.
0:15:23 Caduceus:
“There are lots of different kinds of fate, I know that’s a heavy
question. But do you believe that we are driven towards something by things
that are greater than ourselves?”
0:15:40 Caleb,
pausing a very long time before answering: “Um, I don’t know. I would like
to think not. But I don’t know.”
Caduceus, ponderously: “There are times I think about the cruelties of the world, the things that
have been put upon me and my family, and I would hate for that to be a plan. And there are times when, like
today, I’m very grateful for being in the right place at the right time to make
sure that the right people are becoming strong in the ways they need to be. And
I don’t think it excuses the pain, I don’t think that you have to… I don’t
know, I don’t think you have to… not care about it, or fight it with everything
you’ve got, but… uh, I think the world is shaping you into something important,
and I want to make sure you get to wherever you need to be.”
0:16:50 Caleb,
taken aback: “Oh. That’s a pretty big matzo ball.”
0:16:54 Caduceus:
“Well, you won’t have to work very hard at it, I imagine. I think just
being you wherever the world puts you
will do just fine.”
0:17:03 Caleb,
gesturing with the pendant: “Well, uh, if you have this, this is magic, by
the way.”
0:17:07 Caduceus, taking
it with a small laugh: “I can- I can tell.”
0:17:09 Caleb:
“Oh. There you go.”
0:17:11 Caduceus:
“Thank you.”
0:17:13 Caleb:
“I help you, that makes it easier for you to help all of us, so…”
0:17:16 Caduceus:
“Then I promise I will continue to help you all. This is… Even when we’re
not the best of people I feel like we’re still moving towards something that’s
good and worthwhile, and I’m feeling the struggles in my way to bring us to
where we need to be.”
0:17:36 Caleb:
“Welcome to the Nein.”
0:17:38 Caduceus,
bowing: “I’m honored.”
0:17:42 Caleb:
“Okay, I feel like shit, so I’m going to go to bed.”
0:17:47 Caduceus:
“Thank you for this. I won’t forget it.”
0:17:52
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Critical Analysis 