I collect vintage and ostentatious hats, elaborate
headpieces, and fascinators. I’m the sort of person who can (and frequently
does) put absolutely ridiculous things on her head and manages to make it look
good. So, my first two thoughts after this scene were: “I want that
hat,” and “I think I can make that hat.” And then I looked over
at my Renaissance Faire hat. It was made on sight in much the same fashion of
grabbing random things and sticking them on the hat. I’m a volunteer that needs
to be flagged down and I made that hat specifically to make seeing me easier.
So I guess I have my own Grand Poobah hat already.
If you like this transcript, please consider donating time
or money to Critical Role Transcripts,
@CRTranscript, to help them
provide closed captioning to Critical Role. Help share this wonderful show with
as many people as possible, regardless of hearing ability or English language
skills.
Transcript method notes: http://otdderamin.tumblr.com/post/153539301510/a-note-on-my-transcription-method
Hat Description
Percy finds “a wide brimmed captain’s hat. It comes to
a tricorner point at the front and curves upward. It’s mostly used for
costuming purposes. It’s reminiscent of masquerade balls.” Vex adds a
purple “bombastic bow of varying layers that kind of plumes out three
times. It resembles ribbon candy almost in the way it billows out multiple
ways. But it is pinned to the top, so it kind of poofs as it cascades down the
sides of the hat.” Vex suggests, “A big feather? Like a white plumy
feather?” Percy decides he’ll “just take a quill basically and stick
it in there.” Percy suggests two bells. Vex gets “jingle bells”
from the “royal stable” used as “parade accoutrement for the
various horses.” She makes them “hang from either side around his
ears” to about chin level. “This magnificent mess of a hat that you
guys have created is on par, if not slightly beyond the previous helmet that he
had acquired while in” Vasselheim. It is not well balanced. “[I]t was
designed for a much smaller head, so even for [Grog] to get it on, it’s like
squeezing a tiny rubber thimble over your thumb.”
Transcript
Scene runs: 0:22:16 to 0:37:06 https://youtu.be/ZWkicUhQ7yE?t=1336
0:22:16 Grog:
“By the way, since I’m the tour guide, do you have any plumy hats? You
know, ‘cause if you take a campus tour they have a flag and they’re like, ‘Over
here! Over here!’ in case you get lost. Or when tourists walk around, and
they’re like, ‘Don’t get left! Mm!’ Do you have anything like that?”
Percy: “Let
me check, I’ll be right back.”
Grog:
“Good.”
Vex: “I’ll
go with him.”
Tary: “How
many campus tours have you been on?”
…
0:23:48 Matt, to
Taliesin: “You are searching for
what?”
Taliesin:
“Oh, well I’ve gone into my sister’s bedroom and’ve begun to raid the
spring clothing to find the most ostentatious hat I can find, and start shoving
as many things into it as I possibly can.”
Matt: “Make
an investigation check.”
Taliesin:
“Antlers! Absolutely.”
Laura: “I
was going with you.”
Taliesin:
“Oh!”
Laura: “I
had said I went with you. Mostly to
get away from the Gnomes.”
Taliesin:
“Yes.”
Matt: “So
you’re both searching?”
Taliesin:
“Yes.”
Matt: “Make
an investigation check with advantage.”
Taliesin: He
rolls. “Huh! 15.”
Matt: “Okay.
It takes you a little bit, and you’re being careful not to be too loud, ’cause
the last thing you want is Cassandra to come in and watch you tearing through
her outfits.”
Taliesin:
“No.”
0:24:30 Matt:
“But you do find what essentially amounts to a wide brimmed captain’s hat.
It comes to almost a tricorner point at the front and curves upward. It’s
mostly used for costuming purposes. It’s reminiscent of masquerade balls. You
actually recall when she was younger that it was part of masquerade ball wear.
There was a mask with a long nose–”
Taliesin:
“Sure. It’ll be very ill-fitting now, won’t it?”
Matt: “Oh,
yeah.”
Laura: “Ooo!
Are there any ribbons around?”
Matt: “Yeah,
you find ribbons easily enough.”
Taliesin:
“Yeah.”
0:24:59 Laura:
“I want to tie a big, purple giant bow around the top.”
Taliesin:
“Get a feather in there, the whole thing really, so it’s very hard to lose
him.”
Matt: “Make
a dexterity check.”
Laura: “Just
to see if I can tie a bow.” She rolls. “Okay.”
Sam: “Bow
master.”
Laura: “Oh,
that’s a saving throw… This is low, but that’s a… 12?”
Matt:
“Okay.”
Laura: “But
it’s a bow.”
0:25:26 Matt, laughing: “Oh no, you successfully create
what is a bombastic bow of varying layers that kind of plumes out three times.
It resembles ribbon candy almost in the way it billows out multiple ways. But
it is pinned to the top, so it kind of poofs as it cascades down the sides of
the hat.”
Vex: “It’s
glorious.”
Percy: “Are
we missing something? I don’t know, is it finished?”
0:25:53 Vex:
“A big feather? Like a white plumy feather?”
Percy: “I
think we probably have a white plumy feather. Oh wait!”
Vex: “Or any
color feather, really.”
0:26:02 Taliesin:
“Wait! I’m going to look to see if I can find some bells.”
Matt: “Okay.
Not in Cassandra’s room.”
Taliesin:
“Not in Cassandra’s room.”
0:26:10 Matt:
“But there is the royal stable not far away.”
Taliesin,
gleefully: “Yes!”
Matt: “Which
does have bells available in case they want to have parade accoutrement for the
various horses and other boarded (forted?) creatures.”
Laura: “Are
these like jingle bells, or like big—”
Marisha:
“Cowbells.”
Laura:
“Cowbells.
0:26:24 Matt:
“No, they’re like jingle bells.”
Laura:
“Okay. Yes!”
Percy: “It’s
like jingle bells! Alright. I’m going to—I’m actually going to send you on that
one since you have the broom.”
Vex:
“Alright, I’ll go.”
0:26:31 Percy:
“We’ll need two.”
Vex: “Of
course.”
Percy: “I’ll
find a feather!”
0:26:36 Taliesin:
“Alright. I’m going to just take a quill basically and stick it in there.
I don’t even care.”
Marisha:
“You’re making a Derby hat. It’s appropriate.”
Taliesin: “I
know. It’s wonderful.”
0:26:43 Matt:
“So yeah, over the next ten minutes or so, between your journey and your
finding the proper feather plume, you guys manage to cobble together a
delightfully ostentatious hat for Grogs presentery tour of Whitestone.”
0:26:57 Laura:
“I want the bells to hang from either side around his ears. Like right
here.” [Chin line.]
Matt: “Okay.
Cool. There we go. He has a couple of dangly bells.”
Taliesin: “I
needed this.”
Travis:
“It’ll be good. It’ll be like the Karate Kid with the toy when he starts
spinning.”
Group, shaking
their heads from side to side as if to swing the bells: “Duba duba duba
duba du!”
Matt:
“Perfect. Alrighty.”
Travis: “Old
bells in m’face.”
0:27:19 Matt:
“This magnificent mess of a hat that you guys have created is on par, if
not slightly beyond the previous helmet that he had acquired while in Singorn.”
[Vasselheim.]
Travis:
“Yeah, my horn helmet.”
0:27:33 Taliesin:
“The horn helmet’s pretty spectacular, but I feel like we may have topped
it.”
…
0:36:27 Vax:
“Geez, that hat is busier than Kvarn’s whole fucking—”
Vex: “I
know, right?”
Travis: “Is
it well balanced?”
Matt: “No… Not at all.”
Travis: “Do
I kind of have to hold it?”
Matt: “No.
Here’s the thing, it was designed for a much smaller head, so even for you to
get it on, it’s like squeezing a tiny rubber thimble over your thumb.” He
mimics pulling it down and it poping back up. “And it kind of pops up to
the very, very tip. So it holds itself, but it only really covers the very,
very top of your head.”
Travis: “I’d
be worried about circulation up there, but it’s not really a concern.”
Matt: “And
you feel like it might fall off, but eventually you find a little strap
inside.” He mimics pulling it under his chin.“
0:37:06
Critical Analysis 